One of the many things I want to achieve this year is to lose weight (by May actually). Since arriving in the UK in 2002 I have gradually put on weight, I suspect at least 5 kilos (I don’t dar going on my scales right now) and I simply don’t like what I see.
I am not massively overweight – not my UK standards anyway I am size 10/12, which means shopping can be a challenge in places like M&S-, but I don’t want to invest in new clothes because my waistline is getting bigger and bigger. So if I want to save on clothes I have to get back into shape.
My mother-in-law keeps saying that I look fine – but I don’t feel fine and simply have no excuse to pile on the pounds like this. Well I have many excuses:
For starters: I suffer from migraines and back problems and that means I can’t exercise as much as I should do.
In my twenties I kept fit by going to the gym and riding my bike. I have given up both over here. Going to the gym is incredibly boring (I hate aerobic classes where you are trying to catch up with 20 somethings and don’t get me started on pumping iron) and expensive -especially when you can’t go because you put your back out.
Cycling is simply dangerous over here. Whoever thought it was a jolly good idea to create cycle paths that share space with cars and buses is beyond me. In Germany cycle lanes are part of the pavements, so you avoid cars much easier and it is safer. When I worked for the NHS I used to cycle to work – but gave up after having to repair my bike every weekend because I had a puncture (I think I had 7 punctures in succession). Either there was just a lot of glass everywhere, which I obviously didn’t notice – or my bike is simply jinxed! My cousin lives in London and he merrily rides his bike everywhere – which I find quite brave.
So there is no gym or cycling for me.
I try to do yoga in the morning –which doesn’t help weight loss but is good for my posture and back. I have an elliptical trainer, which is gathering dust in our garage – because it caused me back pain. I have a mini stepper and a mini trampoline I occasionally use and I try to exercise in the living room to Davina Mc Call ’s DVDs. Don’t get me wrong - I am not a fan of hers. I think she makes a convincing Zombie but her interview skills have failed to impress me. However I do think that her workouts are well-presented, easy to follow and most importantly do-able when you have little space.
So in theory I have all the things I need to keep exercising. Often what happens is: I start exercising for a week, then I have an attack or put my back out, stop exercising for a week, eat comfort food because I am frustrated and in agony, and then I find it hard to go back to my exercising regime.
I love food – but am not obsessed with it. I love chocolate, but prefer the Swiss or German variety and dark chocolate, as the stuff they sell over here is too sweet and not chocolaty enough. And I like liquorice – but you can’t get decent liquorice over here, which in a way is a good thing – the last time I ate bags of the stuff was when my dad brought some over last Christmas. But if you love crisps and I do- you are overwhelmed with choice. And choice is definitely not such a good thing when you want to control your weight. Oh - and I love wine and Baileys – but because alcohol triggers migraines I rarely dare touching the stuff – which is I suppose a good thing too if you don’t want to pile on the pounds, but not so good when you go are invited for dinner with your friends.
I know that if I would live on my own I wouldn’t worry much about my weight – I used to eat less, exercise more and go out more. It’s no secret that people in a relationship tend to eat more. And my husband- bless him- can eat what he wants, his metabolism is fast, he eats very slowly and really not that much. He’s tall and skinny. Which means that his mum thinks he needs extra food –in the form of chocolate, biscuits and fatty foods. Whenever she visits us she brings along a bag of the forbidden stuff. Now we can’t let that go to waste – but to waist – mine.
Of course you can say: just don’t eat it, I would answer: try. It isn’t easy.
Depriving yourself of the things you love only creates massive cravings and everything goes to pot. Which brings me to the reason why I hate diets:
They don’t work. At all. I have tried Weight Watchers and I lost weight with it, but I also felt miserable – I couldn’t think of anything other than my next meal. I felt hungry all the time and worst of all it caused migraines. Thing is if you have migraines, diets are a big no-no. They wreck havoc with your blood sugar levels.
So my solution? Well eating a little less and buying sweets I don’t like and somehow find a way to fit in some exercise. I am not in my twenties anymore and thankfully I don’t have to look like Madonna – who looks a bit scary these days. If that look is achieved by a joyless macrobiotic diet and four hours of exercise a day -then no thanks.
I still want to enjoy my life and use my time left on this planet more wisely.
I will let you know how I get on with my non-diet diet and am happy for tips on how to avoid sabotaging myself.
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